Driving back from Vermont, I stopped at a vegetable stand. It was deserted except for a sleeping German shepherd. I stepped over the dog, helped myself to some corn, then opened the cashbox to pay. Taped to the inside of the lid was this note: “The dog can count.”

During a visit to our friend’s home in Canada, we were feted with a wonderful breakfast. But my six-year-old daughter was not impressed.
“Your pancakes are smaller than my mom’s,” she told him.
He replied, “That’s because of the exchange rate.”

On a billboard ad for a safe company:
“If your stuff is stolen, it’s not our vault.”

Recently, a man walked into my barbershop asking how much for a haircut. “Eight dollars,” I answered. “And for a shave?” “Five dollars.”
“All right,” he said, settling into the barber chair. “Shave my head.”

I requested identification from a department-store customer who had just written a personal check for her purchase. After fumbling through her purse, she presented me with what she said was the only thing that bore both her name and address.
It was a notice of insufficient funds from her bank.

As an airline reservation agent, I took a call from a man who wanted to book a flight for two but wasn’t happy with the price of $59 per ticket. “I want the $49 fare I saw advertised,” he insisted, saying he would accept a flight at any time. I managed to find two seats on a 6 a.m. flight. “I’ll take it,” he said, then worried his wife might not like the early hour. I warned there was a $25 fee per person if he changed the reservation. “Oh, that’s no problem,” he said dismissively. “What’s fifty bucks?”

Make smart money decisions; don’t end up in Reader’s Digest!

If managed well though, your credit can be one of your best assets. Your credit rating is like your financial resume that someone else writes for you.

You may not have the ideal financial history, but it’s always better to start being financially responsible sooner rather than later. So start now!

This means making payments on-time and being aware of where your money is going and how it is getting there. It’s your money, you need to be in charge of it!

The parents of a Northwestern student who just headed back from holiday received this letter: Dear Mom and Dad: Univer$ity life i$ $o wonderful! Cla$$e$ and $e$$ion are intere$ting, my cla$$mate$ are the be$t! But after $pending all my ca$h on Chri$tma$ pre$ent$, I am in a little need for $ome $pending money for book$ and $uch. But I don’t want to $end the wrong $ignal$ home.
Love
Your $on

Teach your kids how to work hard and responsibly manage their own money. It may be “unfair” while they watch their friends have everything handed to them, but in the end, any other treatment would be a disservice. It’s a lot easier to learn the value of hard work and the benefits of financial responsibility when they’re six instead of 26.

Plus, the relationship you share with your kids when they are young adults will be drastically different depending on their level of dependence on you.

My mother in the meantime sat in the back just biting her tongue. I could tell she was frustrated that my dad was spending more than he needed to. That’s when she told me about a popular saying which goes something like, “men will pay $2 for something they need even if they can get it for $1 somewhere else and women will pay $1 for something they don’t need if it’s originally $2.”

This is so true and I think we both could work to men our ways and save money. If both genders were to take better care to not spend unnecessary money then we could both save a lot of money.

Financial Humor:

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Greek village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.

The American complimented the Greek on the quality of his fish and asked, “How long does it take to catch them?”

The Greek replied: “Only a little while.”

The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Greek said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.

The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Greek fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play cards with my friends; I have a full and busy life.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats.

“Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution.

“You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Athens, then London and eventually New York where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Greek fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15-25 years.”

“But what then?” the Greek fisherman inquired.

The American laughed and said that’s the best part. “When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions.”

“Millions … Then what?” the Greek fisherman asked.

 The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play cards with your friends.”